Where did you get a picture of my penis
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
