All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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