you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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