I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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