so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
