fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
