I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
