Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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