wake up i wanna do it froggy style
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
