Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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