Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
