she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
