Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
