I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
What happened to fro yo and sex?
i think my cat just said my name.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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