she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
