I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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