I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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