You're completely useless in the revolution.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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