I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
You left your phone here
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