i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
