i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
is wine microwaveable?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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