brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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