He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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