Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
