Got a toothbrush?
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
