i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
