Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
