My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
