I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
