I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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