It's like God shit irony all over that family
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
