i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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