He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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