im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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