i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
