I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
