If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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