Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
