dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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