you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
