if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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