And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
