Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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