i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
