Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize
