Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
