3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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