Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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