i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
