why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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