We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
So squirting runs in the family.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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