his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
