There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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