Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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