I feel great
I just peed on a car
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
she peed on how many people?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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