Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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